Edits, filters, sharing the good parts of life, the bragging of accomplishments, social media actually gives us unrealistic views of what others lives look like, we see the good parts of their lives and feel connected, but we rarely see the trials, struggles and the parts where they feel so alone. People let us into their lives partially and often are screaming for the interaction with others but are afraid to let people in, incase they begin to see that there are cracks....how long can you truly keep up the appearance of life is wonderful?
I remember reading a saying somewhere on social media (ironically) which stated:
"stop comparing your behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel".
How true is this? I know I fall victim to only really sharing the good from life, I put filters on photos which make my skin look better, the food more appealing, my day more interesting. I put unrealistic expectations on myself because of what I see others doing/achieving. But what about my behind-the-scenes?
My behind the scenes, is a 29 year old mother of two, with an amazing husband. Living in Highett away from family, and where friends are spread anything from 20mins away to a plane flight of 4 hours. I'm planting a Church for the Salvation Army, and that brings many challenges, questions and frustrations and also expectations from what others perceive to be "church". This year has been one of the hardest times ever, moving away from a community where we lived for two years with constant support, people always willing to be sociable when we needed it. My dad being diagnosed with Cancer and multiple trips back to Perth, and then the tearing of the heart when having to leave the family to come "home". The struggle of wanting to be there but knowing its right for me to be here. The pain of other challenges in Perth and not being there to journey in person with loved ones when they most need it. Add to the mix of having our second child and learning to find the rhythm of life as a family of four. And that is just the big things!
Sometimes I cry, actually often I cry lately.
Somedays I want to pack everything up and move back to Perth, but then reality hits and I realise life won't be instantly better because that in itself would bring challenges.
Sometimes I'm so content with being here in Melbourne, doing what I do.
Occasionally I find I have no answers, no direction, no motivation.
Often life is overwhelming and I want to run.
I'm often trying to get life back to "how it used to be", when I was most happy, most feeling myself, most motivated.
But I'm exhausted. I admitted I needed help. It was scary but I feel although I'm still feeling all of the above, I'm in a good place, to be able to move forward, pursue life to its fullest and to be content with the highlights and the behind the scenes.
I'm on a journey and this one thing I know is that I don't do it alone. All throughout this year, I've held onto one verse in the Bible especially Hebrews 6:19
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."
Jesus keeps me grounded, he was human and he knows the struggles I go through.
Jesus gives me purpose, he lived this world and he knows there are people struggling, he showed me how to live amongst them and do life with them.
Jesus is my constant companion when things get tough and I have no-one to turn to, His Spirit guides me, comforts me & gives me the words to say when I don't feel I have any.
Jesus is the hope of the world, the cornerstone, the foundation.
My prayer is that Jesus be at the centre of my life, and then I can face anything thrown at me.
I show you my behind-the-scenes, because I want you to see you are not alone, my life isn't all peachy that you see when I post photos, but I truly with all my heart believe that life with Jesus is so much better than what it would be if I didn't have him. My faith allows me to journey through this stuff, my battle with depression & anxiety, my struggles in life, my insecurities, because I know I was born for more than just the now. I hold onto those blessings that God has placed in my life - my Husband, my kids, the friends both near and far. I wouldn't trade them for life "as it used to be", because this is life, this is who I am, I am moving forward, not backwards. I've asked for help and I am seeing Jesus work in my weaknesses. Because it is in my weaknesses that He is the strongest. When I admit I can't do it anymore, that He proves He can do it, and He has been the one carrying me through the hard times.